Re: Mea Culpa
Note to Tiger: Please get a new crisis management team. If you hadn’t noticed, their advice to stay silent on the circumstances surrounding your recent car accident is um…not working. All those reporters erecting tents on your lawn? Your neighbor making statements through a lawyer? “VIP hostesses” denying they know you? Other women happily confessing to really knowing you, complete with text messages? The tell-all book that an ambitious writer is probably typing right now?—All a result of the media silent treatment.
Do a Letterman and stop the madness. Book a seat on Oprah. Tell Barbara all about it during prime-time. Admit your mistakes and cleanse. The people will forgive. They almost always do. Maybe you strayed from your marriage. Maybe your wife beat you up with your nine iron. You’re not perfect and your fans will love you all the more for admitting it.
If you’re still not convinced that the truth will set you free, at least come up with something. Perhaps you hit the fire hydrant because you were swerving to avoid hitting a puppy. Then there was another puppy and you hit the tree. Or, you were distracted by a UFO. Or, you have a runaway SUV that needs to be recalled. Or, a crazy blond haired woman was chasing your car while wildly swinging a golf club. Okay, maybe not that one but you get the point. In the meantime, keep your fingers crossed that Brad and Angie decide to adopt again or Tom and Katie get a divorce and the news cycle no longer cares about you.
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