Re: A Star Is Born Made
It’s that time of year again when three nights of your TV week are filled with hopeful singers trying to win the hearts and minds of the American public. The juggernaut that is American Idol is in week two of proper competition. Along with host Ryan Seacrest are the usual judges plus new addition Ellen Degeneres. This season, Kara is trademarking “ridiculous” as a positive affirmation, Simon is trying not to count the episodes until he is free, Ellen is using “pitchy” to sound knowledgeable about music and Randy is setting a personal best for not using the word “dawg”.
There are also some determined contestants trying their best to work the formula and win a recording contract. And yet, after nine seasons they still make mistakes that leave you wondering if they’ve ever bothered to actually watch the show. So contestants, here are a few suggestions for making it to the big stage:
Resist the urge to sing anything that has the name Mariah, Celine, or Whitney attached to it. Ditto, Heart.
The judges will constantly tell you to bring something new to a song’s arrangement.
When you bring something new to the arrangement, they will tell you not to.
You need to be original and/or authentic. See ‘bringing something new to the arrangement’.
Just because they chose you for the top 24, doesn’t mean you can sing. Sorry, Tim Urban.
Being relevant means choosing a song that your parents and/or grandparents can’t sing along to.
These are the unwritten rules of American Idol. Now that you know them, forget them because if you haven’t guessed by now, American Idol is not about nurturing talent. It’s about branding and synergy. A master class in cross-platform marketing, the show is also about crafting a temporary celebrity culture disguised as democracy. The winner may be the people’s choice but the show has complete control over how their music and image is produced and distributed. This means that the format will always be more successful than you will be. So enjoy the ride. Think of it as your 15 minutes of fame, with added marketing goodness. If you accept that your career is not your own, the machine may turn you into a Kelly Clarkson or a Carrie Underwood. Just try to avoid becoming a Clay Aiken.
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